Wednesday, February 08, 2006

all night long (all night)

I guess it was the excitement of blogging so much that resulted in me suffering from insomnia last night. It wasn't my usual, restless, slightly angry but resigned insomnia. Rather, it was like a hyped up, excited in a meaningless way insomnia. It felt like I had necked a couple of massive cups of coffee just before bed (I hadn't) and was waiting to meet a date sort of excitement. Weird.

Anyway, I took to opportunity to take yet another shot of the view from my bedroom window - and even though I had the camera rested on a firm footing - it comes out like this:


Well, I did get up and get to work (I have a new collaborator in JOB1 and it's v. exciting - lots of new possibilities), and even though I got the Beetham Tower in my night time shot, I couldn't resist taking another image while cycling past this morning.
The clouds look a bit mad in this 'photo - and there is a load being lifted by one of the cranes - cool.

I'm not sure why I am so entranced by the building. I didn't think I liked it very much - the whole jutting out thing and being so thin and all - but now it's growing on me. The bottom levels look a bit gross when you get up close - all hotel entrances and Hilton announcements. But the upper levels are really growing on me (and infront of me).

So anyway. Work. My meeting of yesterday has forgiven me for being a week early (and for the many messages on internal and moble phones asking where he was) and all is well. But the main thing I learned today is that I like to delay any and every decision to the last possible moment. Now this should not be a surprise to me - given my recent non-engagement with the Inland Revenue - but I had never realised the extent to which it conditions my life. I really will go a long way in order to avoid making a decision that could be put off until a later date. This has impacts on the holidays I take, the social life I do or don't arrange (I can't come to X because I might be going to Y - I haven't decided yet...), the career and financial decision I do (or don't) make. Weird. I may need therapy for this - decisiveness training or something. I suspect, however, that it is related to a lack of necessity in my life. I could be this or that. Could do one thing or another. I don't have a family to support or a mortgage to pay or a burning passion (say, brass rubbing or the pursuit of the perfect souffle) to pursue that conditions my working life, so no other decisions are that important. Everything can wait because nothing is a priority. Hmm. I may need to think about this more.

In the meantime, I couldn't resist taking a photo of the police car in frontg of me on Shude Hill this afternoon. There is a shiny new 'transport interchange' (massive bus stop and tram shelter) and a lot of building going on - but it is still a bit shabby and attractive around the edges.


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