Wednesday, September 14, 2005

And another thing...

Firstly, I know I use ellipses too often in the title of my blog entries. I like the dots. It's my blog. Move on.

Secondly, as a prelude to this entry, I feel I learned a couple of useful lessons today - I want to share (If you don't want to know, I refer you to my previously given answer...):

1. I will never again have my hair cut early in the morning: I think people are more honest and less deceived in the morning - hence I saw myself in the hairdresser's mirror this morning with no barriers. It gave me heartburn and made me aggressive for a good two hours. A cross between Boy George and Adrian Mole - not good.

2. Do not say no while nodding, or yes while shaking your head. It is a clear sign of self-deception and/or attention seeking (or both). Say what you mean.

Right. I have a love/hate relationship with Tesco Metro on Market Street. It's like a big, bright, expensive magnet. I can barely pass by without being drawn in. Whether I need something or not, I find it hard not to make a detour. Last week, I found myself halfway down the tinned chickpea and pasta aisle (see picture) without realising I had locked up my bike, walked in and taken the escalator downstairs.

It does not deserve my devotion. (1) It promised to open 24 hours a day when it began, but is never open beyond 11pm nowadays. (2) It has a very poor domestic hygiene section with a choice of only two foam based bathroom cleaners. (Sainsbury's in Salford has 6 or 7.) (3) The managers are not nice people and are often mean to the staff - I have complained about this using both small fill-in-able cards and verbally. Strangely, I have never seen one of my cards on the customer comment board. (4) It knows I have no car and am thus a hostage to its charms.

On the plus side - it has saved my life on several occasions (if my life could have been saved by satiating a sudden urge/need for red wine and/or disposable plastic glasses - obviously). And I have been in there in a state of advanced inebriation on a number of occasions without coming to harm - which is almost like offering a social service, when you think of it.

But I have decided to restrict my use - cut down - wean myself off. I will try from now on to shop once a week in a supermarket and buy other stuff from small, worthy, independent type shops where the vegetables come from a field with a name and the cleaning products are made from lemon juice and rainbow essence.

On the other hand, I might just stop reading the Sunday supplements, get totally twatted every night and carry on hammering my Switch card at Tescos. Who knows?


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